Hello friends,
Congratulations to Alecia! She tried a few of my suggestions from previous posts and asked good questions too. Armed with the right information, she is helping her sweet baby learn to fall asleep on her own. Everyone is getting more sleep now! Super job!
It just reminds me that this doesn't have to be awful and miserable. You and your baby don't have to be sleep deprived forever!
So many parents just accept the fact that they are going to be exhausted and grouchy for years to come. You hear it from friends and family all the time. They may even joke about how you should "get some sleep now, because when the baby comes you'll never sleep again". Even congratulatory greeting cards emphasize this idea that parenting a newborn is just going to suck for awhile. It's depicted in movies, TV and even cartoons as an event that should just be accepted and looked at as something that everyone just inevitably goes through as a parent.
The truth is, it doesn't have to be like that. Yes, you are going to be sleep deprived for a few weeks, - unless you hire a Newborn Care Specialist - but it doesn't have to be your permanent state of existence.
You can plan on catching 30-90 minute naps for the first few weeks, especially if you are nursing, as babies require 8-12 feedings a day for a while. With a consultation from Gibson Newborn Services, your baby will be doing at least 4-hour stretches at night, by 4 weeks old. Most of my clients get 6-8 hours at night by 6-8 weeks old and 10-12 hours by 9-10 weeks. When you have good information and a plan of action, you can navigate through the tough part and know that your little one will be sleeping better and longer in a few weeks. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!
There is definitely a period of time that newborns require a great deal of attention, around-the-clock attention to be precise. By that point, most bleary-eyed parents are so overwhelmed that they fall into "unconscious parenting". They are merely surviving and doing whatever it takes to get from one hour to the next. Suddenly they find themselves with a 6 month old that doesn't sleep and is crabby much of the day. Wow, doesn't that sound like fun? No wonder the new parent stereotype exists!
Be prepared and plan ahead. If you can, get help like; a cleaning service, Newborn Care Specialist (commonly called a baby nurse), hire a chef or food delivery service or enlist the support of family and friends. Whatever you do, know that since the dawn of time, women all over this planet haven't been raising babies on their own with no help. You know the saying "it takes a village"? Well it's true. We weren't meant to do this all alone. Get support in ways that make you feel good about parenting and caring for your newborn.
For more information or to schedule a consultation please visit www.GibsonNewbornServices.com or call (866) 432-BABY.
Best wishes for happy, healthy, well-rested babies,
Cortney
1 comment:
I am a mom of 5 girls, the oldest 2 are my step daughters. My youngest is 12 weeks old today. I've been struggling with nursing issues, as we've been trying to get to exclusively breast-feeding, and so her sleep issues have been back-burnered. I have co-slept the 3 I've given birth to, the older two were co-slept til they were 5 months old, then moved to a crib. My first child was a dream, sleeping 6 hours at a stretch practically from the get-go, but she was also drinking 6 ounces of formula from the get-go, which I now realize was a BAD IDEA, and one which we're paying for, so I don't want to repeat that with this one. My second baby was sensitive to noise, light, and movement, was extremely colicky, and her first 3 months were miserable. She didn't sleep through the night til she was over a year old. Now, my 3rd child is somewhere in-between, and the only thing that keeps her from having long crying spells is that I am willing to nurse her a LOT during the evenings. However, when you THINK she's asleep, and put her down, she wakes right back up. If you feed her for so long, then put her down, she either stares, or cries. She doesn't sleep. She will sleep on occasion if put in a swing, but typically will just start crying at some point, which is usually feeding time. If any more than 3 hours between feedings pass during the day, there is absolutely NO consoling her, even picking her up she will continue to cry. I am, at this point, exclusively breast-feeding her. I can't see being able to go 4 hours between feedings, and from everything I've read, this is a bad idea anyway. MAYBE at night, but not during the day. Naps have been a real struggle, and only in the past 3 days or so have I seen any sort of pattern to naps to where she's getting a morning and MAYBE an afternoon nap. This typically requires me laying down with her, and when she finally goes to sleep, and is in a deep sleep, carefully removing myself and sneaking away. If I put her in her cradle, she may be quiet for a bit, but eventually she will begin to cry. One night, being especially tired, cranky and as an experiment, I put her down in her cradle, and I believe she was still crying when I finally went to sleep... it was a miserable experiment for me, but one which my husband fully endorsed. Where is the line between "you can't spoil an infant under 6 months" and mom is going to go stark raving mad if she doesn't get some sleep? I won't be repeating that experiment again, not until she's older anyway.
So can I REALLY go 4 hours between feedings for a breast fed 12 week old? I don't think she's getting more than about 2 and a half ounces at a feeding at this point. MAYBE 3 ounces. I can pump 1 to 2 ounces depending on how long it's been since she's fed and what time of the day, and I've read that it's normal for the baby to get double what you can pump. I'm told by a lactation expert, this is normal, and what I'm pumping is a good amount.
I admit to being lousy at swaddling, anytime I try this, she simply kicks or flails off the blanket, crying the entire time. Also, I don't have the money to buy anything not absolutely necessary. I want to buy a sling, but not sure I can spare that, either. I need simple things I can do to get her to sleep without me spending two hours moving her from one breast to another waiting for her to get into a deep enough sleep to sneak off. And if she's in my arms and falls asleep, I don't care HOW deep it is, unless it's 1 a.m. if I put her down, she wakes right back up. And simply putting her down while sleepy results in a crying baby.
This morning, my 8 year old took it upon herself to make my bed... not realizing the baby was laying in it, sleeping. She woke her up from a nice sound sleep. It's hard not to be very upset with the older children when they wake up the younger ones, who simply don't sleep very well to begin with. We have the cradle in our closet, which is dark and quiet, and when it's time, she can share a room with the next oldest, but for now, I fear they'll wake each other up at night! I'm really not sure how I'll work around that when it happens, so if you have ANY advice... I'll take it.
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