Sunday, October 26, 2008

How much should your baby eat?

Hello friends,
One of the most common questions my clients ask is "how much should my baby be eating?" and the answer might surprise you.
For nursed babies who are healthy and weight-gaining, the answer is exactly what they are already eating. Now, I realize this isn't the answer most new parents are looking for when they worry about their baby's health. As long as your nursling is gaining weight (1/2 - 1 oz per day), has several wet diapers and bowel movements and is content between feedings, he's probably eating precisely what his body needs.
For your bottle fed baby, there are a couple of easy guidelines for knowing how much to offer your baby. The first is the most simple, but not quite as accurate. Take your baby's weight in pounds and multiply by 2.5. For example: an 8 pound baby should eat around 20 ounces in 24 hours. 8 x 2.5 = 20.
This is just a guideline! It's okay if your little one takes in 22 oz or only 18. Just be sure your baby has at least 6 wet diapers a day and is steadily gaining weight.
My favorite way to calculate the amount you offer your baby is to convert the baby's weight into ounces and divide by 6. For example: a 7 lb 6 oz baby weighs 118 ounces, divided by 6 equals 19.7 ounces per day (rounded up). 7 x 16 = 112 + 6 = 118/6 = 19.7.
Spread the total equally over the whole day. For some babies, this might be 8 feedings or for others it might be 6 feedings. As babies get older, they require fewer feedings each day , but are able to eat a larger amount at each feeding.
The bottom line is this: don't worry so much! Just in case you do tend to worry, now you know how to estimate what your newborn is likely to eat.
Best wishes for healthy, happy babies,
Cortney

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Sleeping struggles of 12 week old

Hello friends,

Summer is coming to an end and school will be starting soon - if not already! I am in the midst of potty training 2 1/2 year old twins, which is going surprisingly well. These are kids that I took care of when they were born and have returned many times to "fix" things or tackle milestones.

My summer has been filled with sleep training consultations, parenting classes and spending time with my niece. One of the highlights was a dinner meeting with Dr. Bryan Vartabedian, author of Colic Solved. 

I just happened to be in Houston on a consult and Dr. V was kind enough to meet with me. His book is a fantastic resource for dealing with reflux in infants. In a world where some kids are treated unnecessarily and yet so many cases go undiagnosed, Vartabedian's book provides the facts on reflux and what parents and caregivers can do to advocate for their babies!

Now onto our latest question: Galtscrapper posted a comment about her 12 week old's sleep issues and hopefully I can help. Let's go through a few points from galtscrapper's post before I offer some suggestions.

My first child was a dream, sleeping 6 hours at a stretch practically from the get-go, but she was also drinking 6 ounces of formula from the get-go, which I now realize was a BAD IDEA, and one which we're paying for, so I don't want to repeat that with this one.

Why was this a "bad idea"? Did your first baby have allergies or some aversion to formula? If not, there is nothing "wrong" with feeding formula. Of course breast is best, but not all mothers are able to nurse. Some just don't feel comfortable or their babies have a hard time. I've always believed the best way to feed your baby is the way that makes Momma happy. Because if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy! Every family is different, so breast or bottle or combination of the two - it's all about happy, growing babies. Parents shouldn't feel bad about using formula if nursing doesn't work out.

I can't see being able to go 4 hours between feedings, and from everything I've read, this is a bad idea anyway. MAYBE at night, but not during the day.

Babies less than 16-18 weeks old should not be going 4 hours between feeds during the day, in my opinion. Once nursing is well established, your baby should be able to feed every 3 hours on a FLEXIBLE ROUTINE. By following a few simple guidelines, you'll be waking your baby to eat, not the other way around. Breast fed babies, particularly, should be fed when truly hungry, regardless of the clock. This may be 2 1/2 to 3 hours.

I admit to being lousy at swaddling, anytime I try this, she simply kicks or flails off the blanket, crying the entire time.

Swaddling is the cornerstone of soothing babies and teaching them to sleep longer. You MUST master this skill to get any use out of my methods. There are tricks to getting it just right and you don't have to spend a fortune, although a $30 Miracle Blanket is fairly fool proof.

I need simple things I can do to get her to sleep without me spending two hours moving her from one breast to another waiting for her to get into a deep enough sleep to sneak off. And if she's in my arms and falls asleep, I don't care HOW deep it is, unless it's 1 a.m. if I put her down, she wakes right back up. And simply putting her down while sleepy results in a crying baby. 

Typically, putting a sleeping baby to bed will not work, at least not for long. Rocking, walking, feeding, driving or swinging babies to sleep will not help you in your quest for sleep. Even though you say putting her down sleepy results in crying, that's the best thing to do. Putting a baby down drowsy (but awake) only works if you use it in conjunction with other tools - swaddling, white noise, flexible routine, soothing methods, etc. You have to teach your baby HOW to fall asleep without your direct assistance.

You are probably not going to like the advice I'm about to give, but you asked for it so here it goes.

I'm fundamentally opposed to bed sharing. I am familiar with all the research and the different views on this practice, so my opinion has been well thought out. If you need or want your baby near you at night, consider a side car (also called a co-sleeper) or crib near your bed. In my opinion, bed sharing can be dangerous and often develops hard-to-break habits down the road when Mom and Dad want their lives back. Also, sleep training will go infinitely better if the child is in her own room. If you don't have the space, you'll need to create an area in your room where the baby can't see you. Try a folding screen or curtain off the area around the crib.

To achieve your goal, which at 12 weeks old should be 3-4 ninety-minute daytime naps and 10-12 hours at night, you'll need to create an environment that is conducive to developing good sleep habits. 

First, make sure the sleeping area is darkened. Many parents have been told that babies should learn to sleep in the daylight. Actually, they need to learn HOW to sleep first. Then they can learn to sleep just about anywhere! 

Second, get a good white noise machine (check out the best one for the money at www.gibsonnewbornservices.com/resources). You'll need it to buffer the sounds of the house and sibs, not to mention white noise is a soothing sound that clearly helps babies sleep longer. Place the machine under or near the crib and play it on the white noise setting about the volume level of a running shower or vacuum cleaner.

Third, remove anything stimulating or fun from the crib. This includes toys, mobiles, and anything that sings or lights up. Nothing fun happens at night, that's your new mantra. Once the baby learns how to go to sleep on her own and is 6+ months old, you can try crib attachments that keep her entertained when needed.

Okay, now that you have set the mood, it's time to cover the other important ingredients. As I mentioned earlier, tight swaddling is a must. Use the right sized blanket and if you need instructions, search youtube - many good demos are available.

Next, create a flexible routine that works with your family's busy schedule. Start at the same time each day, like 7 am. Nurse and then have some low stimulation awake time. Watch for sleepy cues and prepare to put her down for a nap within 60-90 minutes of waking (8 to 8:30). Swaddle, turn on sound machine, dim the lights and start sleepy time routine. Stand at the crib or sit in a chair and just firmly pat her bottom while holding her close. Hum or sing a lullaby and sway or rock for 2-5 minutes. Then say goodnight and place her in the crib. You may try using a sleep positioner and turning her slightly toward the wall (be sure she's still on her back). Leave the room and wait to see what happens.

My babies don’t generally cry much during sleep training, but they are trained early and I put an incredible amount of energy into the task. When my babies do need help going to sleep, I use the minute rule. One minute per week of age. Your 12 week old would be just fine if you let her fuss and cry for 12 minutes - as long as you can stand it.

Continue with your 3-hour routine, feeding about every 3 hours and getting her down for a nap after an hour and a half of awake time, including the feed. Babies often wake at the 45-minute mark during naps. This means the baby is in a lighter stage of sleep and can’t quite drift back into another sleep cycle without a little help. Use soothing techniques to help her back to sleep.

When you put your baby to bed  (7:30-8 pm) after the 7 pm feeding, use the same sleepy time routine and guideline from above. At this point you should allow her to sleep until she wakes on her own. Try to go at least 4 hours, but feed her if she’s truly hungry. Continue through the night, hopefully feeding only twice then wake her at 7 am.

There is so much more to sleep training than what I have posted here, but I don’t want to overwhelm you. When I consult with clients for sleep training, I spend a great deal of time personalizing their Plan of Action. I provide them with a detailed binder of information and go over every detail with them. It’s very difficult to unlock all the answers in a single blog posting!

Give these suggestions a try and let me know when you have mastered the swaddling, routine, naps and 4+ hour stretches at night. Then we can talk about the next step toward 10-12 hours of sleep at night!

Best wishes for a restful night,

Cortney

Monday, June 30, 2008

Successful Sleep Training!

Hello friends,
Congratulations to Alecia! She tried a few of my suggestions from previous posts and asked good questions too. Armed with the right information, she is helping her sweet baby learn to fall asleep on her own. Everyone is getting more sleep now! Super job!
It just reminds me that this doesn't have to be awful and miserable. You and your baby don't have to be sleep deprived forever!
So many parents just accept the fact that they are going to be exhausted and grouchy for years to come. You hear it from friends and family all the time. They may even joke about how you should "get some sleep now, because when the baby comes you'll never sleep again". Even congratulatory greeting cards emphasize this idea that parenting a newborn is just going to suck for awhile. It's depicted in movies, TV and even cartoons as an event that should just be accepted and looked at as something that everyone just inevitably goes through as a parent.
The truth is, it doesn't have to be like that. Yes, you are going to be sleep deprived for a few weeks, - unless you hire a Newborn Care Specialist - but it doesn't have to be your permanent state of existence.
You can plan on catching 30-90 minute naps for the first few weeks, especially if you are nursing, as babies require 8-12 feedings a day for a while. With a consultation from Gibson Newborn Services, your baby will be doing at least 4-hour stretches at night, by 4 weeks old. Most of my clients get 6-8 hours at night by 6-8 weeks old and 10-12 hours by 9-10 weeks. When you have good information and a plan of action, you can navigate through the tough part and know that your little one will be sleeping better and longer in a few weeks. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!
There is definitely a period of time that newborns require a great deal of attention, around-the-clock attention to be precise. By that point, most bleary-eyed parents are so overwhelmed that they fall into "unconscious parenting". They are merely surviving and doing whatever it takes to get from one hour to the next. Suddenly they find themselves with a 6 month old that doesn't sleep and is crabby much of the day. Wow, doesn't that sound like fun? No wonder the new parent stereotype exists!
Be prepared and plan ahead. If you can, get help like; a cleaning service, Newborn Care Specialist (commonly called a baby nurse), hire a chef or food delivery service or enlist the support of family and friends. Whatever you do, know that since the dawn of time, women all over this planet haven't been raising babies on their own with no help. You know the saying "it takes a village"? Well it's true. We weren't meant to do this all alone. Get support in ways that make you feel good about parenting and caring for your newborn.
For more information or to schedule a consultation please visit www.GibsonNewbornServices.com or call (866) 432-BABY.
Best wishes for happy, healthy, well-rested babies,
Cortney

Sunday, June 22, 2008

5 month old needs music to fall asleep

Hello friends and Happy June!
Alecia sent in a question regarding her 5 month old daughter (see comments for her post).
First of all Alecia, congratulations on your success with sleep training! It's not easy to do and I commend you for teaching your child a very important lesson.
Alecia's question is about using music to help her baby fall asleep. This has become part of her bed time routine and now Mom wants to know if she should wean her baby from it.
I don't generally use music for sleeping, although babies can be taught to fall asleep to just about anything. It's not necessarily a bad thing, just not what I teach.
From birth, I use a high quality white noise machine (available at http://www.gibsonnewbornservices.com/resources.htm) for all naps and night time to help my babies fall asleep on their own. This is a sound that babies already know, from being in utero. It's part of the 5 S's from the Happiest Baby on the Block and is essential for soothing newborns and helping them sleep longer.
Because her daughter is no longer a newborn, I think the use of music is fine, although you may find that transitioning to white noise will work too and is useful long-term. I have many clients who, for the most part, wean their babies off the white noise and then just use it as a buffer to block out the door bell, barking dog, etc.
As long as your baby can put herself back to sleep during the night without music, it's fine to use it as part of your bed time routine. If she is not sleeping 10-12 hours without assistance, that's another story altogether!
To be clear, all people (including babies) wake, briefly, several times at night and put themselves back to sleep. Most have no recollection of these waking events. So, if your baby needs a little reassurance when going to bed, but then doesn't need to be soothed, fed or helped back to sleep for 10-12 hours, using a little Mozart won't hurt a thing. It's part of the routine you taught her! We all have a night time ritual, whether you know it or not. Babies are no different. They need consistency and predictability in their routine (day and night).
As for weaning, you can turn the volume down and use it for less time every 3-5 days. If her reaction is negative, go back to the previous setting. Whatever you do, don't replace the music with rocking, feeding or anything that requires your help. She's doing great - don't sabotage yourself or your darling daughter!
Keep up the good work, Alecia and keep us posted on your progress!
For more information or to schedule a consultation, please visit www.GibsonNewbornServices.com or call toll-free at (866) 432-BABY.
Best wishes for happy & healthy babies,
Cortney

Monday, May 26, 2008

It's Memorial Day already?

Hello friends,
Once again, I have been slow to keep up with this blog. It seems there are so many other things that must be done...this blog is sadly abused and forgotten!
So here we are again. It's Memorial Day and time seems to be flying faster than ever. First, let me update you on my travels since my last post...November 2007. Geez!
I finished up a long job the week before Christmas and was very thrilled to get home and decorate for the holiday, bake cookies and wrap presents. For the first time in a long time, I was home for New Year's Eve/Day, which I spent playing games on my friend's new Wii. It was a riot!
In early January, I made a trip to Tulsa to visit one of my favorite return clients. After working with their twins, born in 2005, I was excited to go back for number 3 who was born on the twins' second birthday. This trip marked my 7th time in Tulsa!
I arrived home the night before my 33rd birthday, which I celebrated with family and friends. Then came a much needed 6 week break from traveling! Although I didn't travel, I spent the time working in the office and planning my SIL's baby shower.
I decided it was time to get more organized, so I bought a new 4 drawer filing cabinet and tons of new office supplies. A trip to Office Depot always gets me motivated in the office! I went through stacks of "papers to be filed" and tons of things I have saved and keep meaning to look through. I used my trusty label maker to organize every file within a file. I pitched a ton of stuff and set up a system for going through things so this doesn't happen again! Whew!
Toward the end of February, I hosted my SIL's baby shower with much needed help from my mom. We shopped for and wrapped tons of gifts for our new little baby girl. I made the most fabulous chocolate cupcakes with a cream center. My friend Lori made super cute choc/mint candies in baby shapes. I decided at 9 pm the night before the shower that I would take on building a diaper cake. It took about 3 hours, but turned out so cute! The shower was great and Luke and Leslie received many nice and needed things for Baby Girl.
Look for Part 2 of this email tomorrow! Don't you want to know what happens next?
In the mean time, send your baby and toddler questions!
Best wishes for healthy babies,
Cortney